Lets train

January 15, 2017 | 15w1d

Baby is the size of a navel orange now, and I'm pretty sure he or she had a major growth spurt this week. Either that, or my uterus suddenly gave in and I've popped. For those that scoff at my bump, just refer back to my four week picture to understand why this seems LEGIT to me. I forgot about how most people are always 'you are so small' to me when pregnant. I don't feel 'small' but I guess it's all relative!



I'm feeling really good overall. I'm hungry and can eat pretty much whatever. I have decent energy and have been walking on the treadmill a little bit. I'm wearing maternity pants for pure comfort but regular pants are 'fine', too. For now. I'll feel the baby kick here and there, nothing consistent yet. Especially in the evening hours, it's 'for sure, not just gas' taps!

My first OB appointment at 14w3d needs recapping here.

Full term! WOAH!

Dressed up for our date night this past weekend, otherwise you know my hair would not be down/makeup on/black dress worn on a weekend. No way.


I'm going to make this pretty short and sweet, and will likely forget a lot of extremely important information in the process. ;)

OB appointment went well, and I'm dilated 1cm and 50% effaced. So literally exactly where I was with Porter's pregnancy at this time and he was overdue and induced (means nothing). My OB still said, 'You can have this baby tomorrow now, you're full term!' She also noted my varicose veins in my groin and legs and assured me they should go away after the 'tumor' comes out. ;) Baby is head down, HR was 150, he's moving like a mad man and my bladder is barely hanging on these days. The pressure down there is insane and I've had several zingers to the cervix/groin that make my legs feel like they might collapse. Still with Braxton Hicks and I even downloaded a contraction timer app this week, when they were coming every 5 minutes for a solid hour. I stopped timing them because they were not painful and I feel like I'm not actually going to go early this time, and sure enough---they must have stopped because I'm still pregnant.



I'm up 30 pounds but food is not my favorite anymore. I get full so freaking fast, but am craving all fruits and popsicles. I've been drinking a lot of water, La Croix, and even root beer this week to beat the heat and stay hydrated. Plus, I've been taking a daily nap whenever possible and I'm not mad about it. Reading back through old 37 week posts with the other kids makes me chuckle--I was all bent out of shape about NEEDING to nap 'three times per week' and still feeling tired. This time? Give me all of the naps, I do not care about losing productive time. It's the only option many days, even if it's just a 30 minute power nap!

Getting off the couch is becoming rather comical and if I drop something on the floor I prefer to pick it up with my monkey toes if at all possible. I'm not sleeping the best because I just can't seem to get comfortable, definitely have to pee at least once in the middle of the night, and because Porter still likes to wake up and screams for me for fun. I don't know anymore, I just cannot with him.

Non-materity tankini is probably going to be forever ruined but I don't have a lot of options for pool wear. I did wear a regular bikini once but the amount of veins on my very-white belly seemed offensive.


Biggest accomplishment of the week is that we finally moved all of the bins and storage items from the attic to the basement, to get ready for the house renovation! This thrills me like nothing else because it's something I've wanted to do for about four months now but I just cannot carry all of the heavy items myself. Don't get me wrong, I've been putting in plenty of hours in the attic, organizing and purging and taking things to Goodwill. I even carried down four giant hanging wardrobes from the attic to the basement before proclaiming, 'THAT'S IT, NO MORE HEAVY LIFTING!' Nate and his dad made approximately 20304 trips up and down alllllllll of the flights of stairs in our house to help with this project, and now I just have a little more organizing to do in our storage area of the basement. YES.

Ugly pictures but must commemorate:
The attic now, basically empty compared to before!


And the unfinished side of the basement now, busting at the seams but still organized. These are all kids' clothing bins. Absurd.


Also, my mom and Memaw bought the baby quite a few new items on Amazon--diapers, sleepers, swaddles, a pacifier. He is SET and it's so much fun to wash and hang all of his stuff in Porter's closet! I even pulled out a bag and started throwing a few things into it as a 'hospital bag', creating a real list for items that need to be in there this week. I faxed the order for a new breast pump to a company and we have the co-sleeper folded up, but ready to go in our bedroom. All of this means one thing: we are having a baby SOON and we are almost ready for him to arrive. GAH!!!!



Supposedly we are breaking ground on the house tomorrow, which is why we did the whole attic to basement purge this weekend. But also, we have a matter of weeks before this child comes no matter what and it's time to really focus on the to-do list, right? I've also decided that when we have a nursery to decorate in about six-ish months, I want to do a black and white and geometric print theme for our cool dude. My mom is requesting a theme so she can make him a quilt, like she's done for the other kids, and it's all going to come together so nicely....when we can actually decorate the new bedroom! I'm nesting in a big way over here and loving every second of it.

Also, we've just been having an awesome summer thus far. Splash pads...


Ice cream dates...




Water balloons...


Sweetness between siblings...


These two dudes went to the US Open and had a freaking ball;)


The pool! .... we love it all!


I kind of cannot believe I have a few weeks left at work. The more I think about it, the more I'm thinking I might just be done after my due date even if I haven't had the baby yet. My due date is a Saturday and I don't know that I'll really want to be at work that Monday morning if he's still cooking away. I'm doing great at work right now and am very thankful for the air conditioning, real bathroom, and comfy desk chair compared to treating patients out in the field. I'm feeling like I'm really hitting my groove with my new job, which is unfortunate since I'll be gone for 12 weeks. We will see if I can jump right back into it when I return, or what! My mom just bought plane tickets to arrive on my due date and leave on Porter's birthday, hoping to catch the birth and meet this little man as soon as he comes out...but of course we know that might not happen. I'm so excited for her to come though and hope the timing works out.

My focus this week has been on visualizing the birth, positive affirmations, and listening to my Hypnobabies tracks without falling asleep. It's so hard to stay awake but I managed to do it a few times. I'm really excited about this birth although it feels very abstract, like it's not actually going to happen in a few more weeks. But it is. I know it will. But it seems impossible.



Favorite comment: "What is this, baby number one? Two? Three?" (Me: 'Keep going'). "OH WOW, number four? You look great for having four kids." What a back handed compliment, right? Like, 'I expected you to look very haggard and tired but you don't look too horrible, I guess.' I mean, I haven't birthed the fourth yet, so my haggard-ness is bound to come. I've had a few people say that I'm finally getting 'big' but most still say 'you are SO SMALL'. I'm really glad my uterus measures right on track at each appointment so that I can be assured other people's opinions on my belly don't mean a whole lot.

Nate and I celebrated our tenth anniversary a few weeks late this year. Tony and Lois took the kids for a sleepover while we went out to dinner, walked around downtown, and woke to a quiet house the next morning. We ate breakfast here, did some organizing, and then went out for coffee. An excellent way to spent our tenth anniversary, even if it wasn't fancy or wild. Plus, Fathers Day weekend with Nate and Tony, and texting my dad was also successful.

TEN YEARS, baby!! My how things have changed and truly, how much happier we are right now compared to our wedding day.


So I'm full term, feeling quite pregnant but happy and content to keep him cooking awhile longer, and I'm in disbelief that I will have this baby in my arms really freaking soon. I'm going to miss pregnancy when it's over, guys. It's just so special to have him all to myself, to marvel at how my body knows how to grow this child, to feel (and watch!) him kicking from the inside, imaging who this little character will be on the outside. The anticipation is still quite magical at this point, and watching all three kids get so excited to meet their brother is something I'll never forget. I know I'm incredibly lucky to feel good at 37 weeks pregnant and I certainly hope that continues until the end!

And with that, I'll head into the week with a clear mind and gratefulness for all that we have in this life. Yes, end of pregnancy emotions are all over the place, it's true.

I felt a little confused about how far along I am right now, but thankfully a few cross checks on my phone and the blog helped me remember that I'm 33 weeks pregnant.

Dang.

Excuse the bad nighttime lighting.


I had an OB appointment last week and it went well. Baby boy is measuring right on track again and my OB said to tell people who scream, 'BUT YOU ARE SOOOOO SMALLLLL,' that my doctor says I have a nicely shaped pelvis. Not an awkward response at all, right?



She confirmed that he is head down, and I've gained almost 25 pounds which is about identical to my pregnancy with Porter. I won't go this Friday, but am scheduled for every.single.Friday after that until he arrives. It seems both impossibly far away and also right around the corner, birthing this child of ours.

I'm still listening to my HypnoBabies tracks and getting kind of amped up for this final birth. Even though it's always super intense and a bit crazy-town, giving birth is also one of the most magical experiences I've ever known. Can't believe I get to do it all again, and this time I just want it to be the most enjoyable/peaceful possible. I don't want fear and anxiety and the negative 'what ifs' to come into play, which is easier said than done, I know. I am nowhere near mentally ready to have this baby but it's getting more real and exciting, just the same!

Today at work I had my first day of feeling truly uncomfortable sitting at my desk for five hours. I peed about three times, and had to stand with my laptop at a make-shift standing desk because I just couldn't get comfortable in my chair. I also had to take a power nap after work, before getting Truman from school, because the past week has been pure insanity and it's catching up to me. Also, Porter woke up at 4am this morning, yelling for me because he puked in his bed. He's not sick, as far as I can tell, but starting the day off with laundry, cleaning my buddy, and cleaning the floor was not the most restful.

So last week? I worked an additional 14 hours on top of my regular 20 because of a variety of reasons that left me feeling mediocre but exhausted. Work was just nuts, there's nothing else I care to even say except I'm glad it's over and it was slightly fun rising to the challenge of extra hours and incredibly focused work time. Memaw came to town for Cecelia's birthday party, which was Saturday and a total blast at Michael's craft store! We are wrapping up from the big fundraiser we put on a week ago, and I'm attempting to tie up loose ends with that. PLUS we just signed the contract to begin construction on our house. So yeah, just a little bit busy and tired but all really good things, so I will try not to complain too much.

One more week until she is five, HOW??










When your teacher magically shows up for your party...






I had a burst of energy yesterday, though, and feel extremely accomplished because of my main task: I emptied out every toy bin in our sun room, filled an entire trash bag with crappy/broken/nasty toys, and reorganized each bin like a boss. Cecelia's craft supplies have never looked so nice. Their bedroom even got special treatment by mom, meaning I cleaned out their bookshelves and beds and have a giant bag full of books to be given to free libraries in our area. Nothing makes me happier than to purge, purge, purge kids toys and junk so yesterday was a big day for my mental health;) The kids actually appreciate being able to find their toys and haven't put up too much of a stink about me getting rid of their stuff. I think they know to steer clear of a pregnant mom in a purging mood.

Last night my stomach was hurting, as it usually does in the evenings lately. Being an anatomy nerd I asked Nate if he's ever thought about WHERE my other organs go as my uterus is taking over my abdomen. I mean, seriously? How is there room for an actual human being, a uterus that is 406720 times the size of it's former self, and also my intestines, stomach, bladder, liver, etc? I literally had to google, 'anatomy of abdominal organs in pregnancy' to ease my desire to see the cluster that is my torso right now. Answer? Your intestines are sufficiently squished between the uterus and your spine, but also get pushed up into your diaphragm. My mind is boggled as to how this even works in life, but apparently IT DOES and pregnant women keep on digesting and growing a child at the same time. Strange.

Speaking of my stomach, it feels stretched to capacity but I know it's not. The actual stomach muscles at the top, near my ribs, are constantly aching and sometimes my middle back hurts. I vaguely remember this part of pregnancy from the past. I've noticed a few Braxton Hicks kicking in to make my already compact belly a tightly wound ball, but nothing that has me too nervous about actual labor or anything. My OB commented that he's 'super low' and asked if it feels like I'm sitting on a bowling ball. Honestly, until about 2 pm I feel great and then my belly just feels heavy and a little bit like a bowling ball 'down there', yes. We also had two days of EXTREME heat, by Wisconsin standards, and I sort of wanted to die or cut someone because I was so hot. My feet and ankles definitely swelled and I felt generally 'icky' with temps above 80 degrees. Thankfully, the weather listened to my wrath and dropped back into the 50s for some pregnancy comfort. If June becomes a scorcher I might be doomed, guys. Or you can find me wearing my compression running socks at all times to prevent swelling.

With Porter, I was already counting down the days when I could be finished with work and I was worried about having P too soon. He was, of course, my only overdue baby and I feel like I've learned my lesson with that type of thinking this early! Definitely nowhere near the mental wall yet, thank goodness. Belly size very comparable to now with that little man, too.

With Cecelia, we had just moved into this house which makes me feel a little nostalgic considering we are about to undergo a major transformation here again! I was worried about getting pre-E again and I think my belly was still fairly small compared to the third and fourth rodeos.

With Truman, I had a ridiculous amount of time on my hands, because the nursery was fully decorated and I was deep cleaning like a nesting maniac. My belly was pointy but small, I was working full time on my feet all day, and attending baby classes. Aw, first-time mom....such a sweet spot for that time in our lives!

Mother's Day last weekend: I'm sort of in love with our tiny offspring.

Sweet Porter (Portie, Ports, Porter-P, Pumpernickel, etc) is already a third of a year old! And dare I say it? This is such a fun age and my obsession with this child is reaching an all-time high somehow. Probably because the challenges we've had---namely the struggle to nurse, the lack of sleep, and horrid car rides---all seem to be leveling out a bit. The tough parts are either getting to be less shocking and we've acclimated (i.e. still hates to nurse) or they are actually improving (i.e. the car seat drama). So let's discuss Mr. P in depth and be aware that this will hopefully be much more upbeat and less 'I'm just barely surviving this newborn and sort of want to poke my eyes out with a spoon' like you may have read here recently. I make no promises but I'm feeling less eye-stabby lately and this may translate into a positive post for once. Yay.





Sleep: Before I go into this topic, how is is possible that I did not mention Truman's sleeping habits AT ALL in his four month post? Was I seriously *that* laid back and now I'm incredibly high strung and obsessed with sleep....or just four years older and therefore obsessed with getting more sleep? Very odd that I didn't even talk about naps or nights because I remember him being really awful at sleeping, but apparently not awful enough to make an impression for a monthly post. Weird.

Anyway. Porter. He's still not sleeping huge stretches at a time or anything but (drum roll, please) he IS sleeping in his crib!! For naps and at night my boy is finally resting his head in that beloved yellow crib, which is a huge accomplishment that felt a little like jumping off a cliff when I decided to go for it last Thursday. He's literally never ever slept in the crib before guys, and now all of a sudden he does it consistently. (Patting self on back an absurd amount for this, I know).



At first he lasted just 30 minutes for his first ever crib nap, but then Friday night I held my breath and said a little prayer as I walked past the MamaRoo with my sleepy boy and placed him in the crib. Bedtime for Porter is always around 7:00 and he usually nurses down in the glider with me (heaven, seriously I don't ever want to let that nursing session go) and I watched the monitor constantly until I went to bed around 10. It turns out he wakes up at roughly similar times no matter if he's in the swing or crib. Usually he wakes around 10:30 and we give a bottle, since I think he now expects the 'dream feed' we used to do before we'd head to bed. Then he will wake sometime around 1-ish and again around 4 or 5-ish and I'll quickly nurse him back down for both of those wake ups. Usually Porter wakes for the day around 7 or whenever the big kids' extremely loud voices wake him up. All in all, this is an incredible sleep improvement from a few weeks ago when he was up at least 5 times a night. Sometimes he will skip that 10:30 wake up and that means he'll get around 6 hours in a row and I think his max might be 8 hours but I cannot tell you when that happened recently. Two 'real' wake ups per night feels very doable for me. Especially when I sometimes go to bed at 8:30 for the night. #I'mSoOld #NoShame



Naps seem to be falling into a routine which makes me psychotic with happiness, too. Porter usually naps around 9:00 and 1:00, plus a power nap at 4:00pm to get him through until bedtime. The other naps can be 20 minutes or sometimes 2 hours long---it's anyone's guess. He still needs and loves to be swaddled, has white noise for all sleeps, and sometimes sucks on his pacifier. It's really obvious when he's napped long enough because he will wake up talking and happy, but if he's still tired he will be super cranky. I can usually get him to sleep a little longer by rocking him and sometimes he'll even nurse back to sleep mostly for comfort. He also really likes to cuddle, turned into me, while walking around. He'll be out like a light with those tricks most of the time and I'm so happy we have a bag of tricks that work with this buddy.





Eating: I mentioned it above but the only times Porter nurses is right before bed, in the middle of the night, and an occasional pre-nap here and there. Otherwise I don't even offer him the boob and we do bottles about every 2.5 hours. I'll alternate between breastmilk and formula bottles and he usually takes 6 oz at a time. At Lori's he almost always takes three 6 oz bottles, plus one right before daycare at home and one right before dinner at home. So yeah, usually 4-6 bottles a day whether at home or at Lori's. The boy loves the bottle, man.





My pumping schedule is not quite as solid as his bottle schedule, though. I pump three times during my work day without issue, then sometimes before bed as well. But on non-work days I really struggle to pump more than once during Cecelia's nap and once before bed. I'm trying to pump whenever I feel full which turns out to be about every three hours but I cannot kill myself over it when I'm home with the kids. Not worth it and I truly feel much more relaxed about our pumping/bottle/very infrequent nursing set up now compared to last month. It's working well for everyone because I'm happy he's nursing at all and Porter is happy to get mostly bottles. He doesn't care if it's breastmilk or formula as long as he can chug it quickly and I'm not as sad about giving him formula either. It's fine, we are doing the best we can, and he's still getting plenty of breastmilk. We've come a long way in the past two months of this rapid decline in nursing!



Motor Stuff: I think the four month mark is when my kids REALLY start holding their heads up during tummy time, because I notice a whole slew of tummy-time-alert-baby-big-noggins-lifted-way up pictures from this time period. Porter is no exception and seems to really understand tummy time and lifting the old noodle. This head control also means that carrying him on my hip is feasible now which is always a game changer and makes him seem so big!



He's a pro at grabbing things and promptly placing everything in his mouth, and he's started drooling and spitting up a LOT more lately. I had to dig out all of Truman's old bibs finally because of this new fun trick.



Porter started belly laughing this month and I could basically die over this milestone. He is super ticklish especially under his little armpits but he will now giggle at me when I'm acting like a lunatic to elicit a laugh. Bedsides the laughs, Porter is still one of the smiliest babies I've ever laid eyes on. Truly, he is *that* happy and will smile at pretty much anyone. And sometimes walls and his toys and really anything at all. He is also really talkative now and has the cutest coos and squeals. Baby talk is just the best and he is a talker!







Plus, he has mastered his patented X-Treme Pouty Face, even more than Cecelia did at four months. One day a few weeks ago he started poking his lips out and was staring at his shirt like he was deep in concentration. He kept collecting himself then pursing that little mouth over and over again. At first it was hilarious and I got about 100 pictures (no way, right!?) and then I got a little creeped out by how INTENSE he was being about this pouty face. Like, is it possible for him to have a mouth seizure from practicing so ferociously? He has taken it down a notch since then and I love comparing Porter's pout to Cecelia's at this age. Hilarity.

I mean, seriously?


Cecelia v. Porter

The whole sequence:


Other notables: Car rides are NOBIGDEAL anymore, guys. I think he has seriously turned the corner with his insane meltdowns in the car seat and it's glorious x 1000 to have pleasant road trips around town with the children now. Porter now just gazes out of the window, looks around at his siblings and is incredibly chill in the car and for this I say, 'Hallelujah, baby boy!' Of course, we haven't attempted any trips longer than maybe 15 minutes at a time but it's already light years better than even a month ago. We are going to push our luck and try for a trip to the Chicago area for Thanksgiving day, which will be a little over an hour. (teeth clenched emoticon goes here).



Porter had a head full of cradle cap all of a sudden this month which seems really late, but whatever. I used baby oil on the scales, let it sit a bit, and then combed them out and his scalp is as good as new. And my goodness, his bald, big head plus those ears? Such an old man and semi-resembles Elmer Fudd or possibly Mini Me from Austin Powers on any given day. Very nice dopplegangers to have, Porter!

The Elmer:

...because of these ears...




Aw, Elmer!


And the Mini Me face:


He's in 6 month clothes and could maybe rock a few niners but I'm not ready yet;) Size 2 disposable diapers. Looking mighty chunky compared to a month ago. We'll get his official stats in a few more weeks at his well-child appointment. But he seems solid and fat and I love it. I think he's close to fifteen pounds based on the weighing-with-and-without my baby technique.





He loves baths and gets very serious about them, like 'clean me up, woman, I'm covered in my own spit up and this is absurd!' He loves to have his diaper changed and if he is upset I can lay him down to change his diaper and he immediately starts to smile. I think he is a clean freak or something;)







Porter's two siblings are still nuts over this baby, which means the entire family is pretty much wrapped around his tiny finger already. Truman and Cecelia love to get in his face to say 'hello' no less than 50 times per day, they like to hold him, CC loves to jam numerous pacifiers in his face, and Truman likes to tickle Porter. So it's safe to say the novelty of having a squishy new baby in the house has not worn off for Tru and CC. They are so great with Porter and I love thinking about their relationships with him as they all grow up together. So much.



















Porter had his first Halloween this month as a consignment-sale-tiger, he is being subjected to frequent wearings of Elf Christmas pajamas. Yes, I know it's early but the kids go nuts for new jammies and I promise not to decorate the house until after Thanksgiving. Both GoGo and Memaw came to visit us this month and P really let his personality shine through for them, blowing them away with his general contentedness. Plus he did his first bedtime without mommy (I think?) when Nate and I went to dinner and a haunted house with friends one night---Tony and Lois did all three bedtimes without major drama, which is a pretty awesome notable in my book.



I just cannot even...








Such a great visit !




Basically, P-man is awesome. He is happy, smiley, and only cries if he is hungry or tired. He's a cuddle bug, is super alert, and is really chill. He isn't nursing much but is appeasing me a bit each day so I can't complain too much. He's sleeping just a teensy bit better than a few weeks ago (it would be hard to get WORSE than 5-6 wake ups per night but I'll never put anything past him) and it's much appreciated. So yeah, he is just the best and we seem to be finding our groove with this nugget of a babe.







I love you so much, Porter-P.