Lets train

CC,

You are stunningly beautiful. I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom, but you truly do take my breath away with your extraordinary red curls, giant baby blues, and little doll face. In a world that places heavy emphasis on the superficial, I hope you can take your beauty in stride.





Because soon enough you will have a complex relationship with your exterior. Your body, your hair, your skin, your smile....all of these may be under fire from your self at some point. They could be under scrutiny from your peers, too, but I want you to be confident enough that you let other's opinions roll off your (beautiful) back. And confident enough that negative self-talk is a rarity. Build yourself up, rock those red curls, and know that your true beauty comes from within. We love you no matter what.







Your innocence is another thing that makes my heart ache. You are so trusting, so curious, so innately good. I wish I could protect you from all of the heartache and pain you are sure to encounter in this life, but since I can't I will just tell you that I'll be here for you when you need me. Which is a lot right now, and hopefully you'll still need me quite a bit in the future, too. Never lose that sparkle in your eye. Never forget that we love you no matter what.





At just fifteen months, I find myself giddy with excitement anticipating your journey into adulthood. There are just so many awesome memories to be had. But in your short life you've already provided us with some amazing moments. Your first smile, first time saying 'mama', first unprovoked kiss for your brother, first run-and-reach for your daddy...I could go on, but I won't. Oh, you bring such joy to our lives, little girl. I'm both excited for you to grow and sad that it's going so fast. I honestly would not trade a moment of this crazy life for anything and feel incredibly grateful to be your mom.

Your great-grandma sewed this vintage pink tatting onto this new green dress.


The tatting was made by your great-great grandma, Sweetie, and her favorite color was pink (I think it runs in our family). I wish we could have had a few years of five generations of women in this family, but four will have to do for now. And I can't help but think of how much my mom must have loved me when I was your age, and Memaw before her, and Sweetie before that. Becoming a mother myself has given me a new appreciation for my own--something I hope you get the privilege of understanding one day.

I love you, sweet girl. Sorry that I'm a sap. I can't help it sometimes.





xoxo, Mama

It is July and I promised that this month I would provide some examples of how other cultures are dealing with the work/family balance. In doing so, I promise to postulate some, what I would like to think are, workable hypotheses for how we might change our approach in this country to benefit mothers in a more efficient way.

There is a general consensus in the anthropological literature that it is intrinsically difficult for women to combine income-producing activities (ie: work) with the domestic responsibilities of child care and housework that almost universally fall primarily on the shoulders of women. The ease or difficulty in which women navigate this has a lot to do with the cultural realities in which they function. In other words, societal and material factors can either help or hinder a woman's efforts to provide an income for herself and family. This extends not just to income production, but the production of children as well. The number of children that a family HAS is often at odds with the number of children a family WANTS depending on the cultural and material context in which they live. In addition this can change historically over time.

Reading C.H. Browner's article, "The Politics of Reproduction in a Mexican Village" the women of a small municipio (township) were caught between the pressures of the Mexican government to restrict births and local pressure that was seeking to maintain and promote population in the area to avoid loss of autonomy. Browner found that the women were succumbing to village pressure to raise more children than they felt they could comfortably afford or care for because of the prevailing pro-natalist mentality that was characteristic within the specific area. Most women, because of economic and domestic pressures desired few children, but feared public censure for any attempt to curb fertility.

So, these women were having more children than they desired because of societal pressures.

Then there is the U.S. In some ways we are the opposite from that village in Mexico. I know many women in my circle of friends who have made the comment, "Oh we would have loved to have more children, but I just knew there was no way we could afford it." Our culture has it set up so that the resources required to care for, provide for and educate each child mean you have to have access to a fairly high income if you wish to have a larger family and avoid a daily struggle to eke out a living. I have even seen passing references in newspaper articles that have likened a large family in America to a status symbol, much like a big house, fancy car or expensive vacation. By that same token, I know women who want so badly to have a meaningful career that they would never risk it by having a family. The unspoken, but often acknowledged fact is that many women, through the mere act of procreation, are signing the death warrants on their employment future.

Just like the women in Browner's municipio, who should not be forced by society to have more children than they want, the U.S. should invest in families more so that women don't have to unwillingly restrict or forgo fertility.