Lets train

As I read, her words hit close to home for me personally. If I was to ever write a book about marriage counseling, it would be almost identical to this book. As I read, it was as if Poleman articulately took the words out of my mind and put them into print. But where I can be somewhat scatterbrained, she eloquently flowed from topic to topic in an endearing and insightful manner.

I delighted in how she explains the importance of selfless service in a marriage. Just recently I sat in a marriage counseling session and listened as each spouse described feeling unappreciated for the work they do around the house. I recalled Poleman's words, and I tried to shift the conversation towards expressing gratitude for what service is done and expressing needs to your partner. Poleman's discussion of service in a healthy marriage inspired me to begin spreading the #servingmyspouse, which I wrote about here.

With lighthearted humor and a willingness to share her successes and mistakes, Poleman shines light on true joys of a healthy relationship. She describes how she has improved her communication with her husband; she discusses the lessons she has learned from friends and family with varied marriage experience. As the subtitle of the book projects, she explains how simple actions, such as sending a loving text message, can have profound power to keep a marriage strong. She writes, "It may seem simple, but this kind of little connection is more fuel for your fire" (p. 54). She quotes Dr. Gottman who advises, “Real-life romance is fueled by a far more humdrum approach to staying connected [than anything big and flashy like a fancy vacation for two] (p.54).

Another large portion of her writing is dedicated to improving communication patterns between spouses. As a counselor, I appreciated her explanations of how body language, tone of voice, word choice, and listening skills can enhance or deteriorate a marriage. Many recollections of marriage counseling sessions with struggling spouses flashed through my memory as I read. Oh, how those fighting couples would have benefited from reading her book in conjunction with our professional counseling sessions! I have also written a bit on problem solving communication here.

At the end of each chapter she suggests "Two Minute Action Steps" which reinforce the theme of each chapter. These simple exercises, if completed, help a couple establish or enhance positive habits. From communication tips to service ideas to sexual intimacy, these two minute action steps help a couple become closer one small step at a time. I like to remind couples in marriage counseling that their actions are reciprocal. If one spouse starts to act positively, eventually the other spouse will change as well. If one spouse reads this book and starts to incorporate Poleman's actions steps, the other spouse will likely notice the positive change and reciprocate love back.

I wholeheartedly recommend Two-Minute Marriage Project to anyone desiring a boost in their relationship. Poleman authored a winning book full of wise insights, professional references, and action-oriented improvements, all in an easy to comprehend writing style.

Find her book at Familius or on Amazon. I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I did.