Lets train: that

Showing posts with label that. Show all posts

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Words that will boost your child’s self esteem

As parents, we often wonder if we are raising our children the “best” way. I know many a mom that feels like she is failing just because she is not perfect. Luckily, kids are pretty forgiving, and our imperfect moments can be overshadowed by happy memories.

To help parents create more positive memories,

I thought I’d write about how our words can improve our child’s self-esteem.

How do you talk to your kids?

What do you say to them?

In day-to-day speech, we should strive to speak in an encouraging tone as much as possible to help our child’s self-esteem grow. This means paying attention to their positive actions. We don’t need to overinflate our speech, just honestly acknowledge the good behaviors we see. Kids know when we are stretching the truth, so honesty is the best road to take.

For example:

“Wow, you knew exactly where to find your baseball. What a smart boy!”

“Thank you for giving your sister a turn with your train set. What a kind brother you are.”

“You figured out how to swing all by yourself. You are so clever. Way to persevere.”

Speaking more often in this way compliments children on their actions and their being, which enhances self-esteem. It might be a little weird at first to talk this way, but as you look for opportunities to congratulate their actions, you’ll find them.

Kids usually make more right choices during the day than wrong choices.

(I’m not saying you can never discipline your child. That’s our responsibility as parents, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Regular compliments such as “You’re so beautiful” are important for children to hear. But when we compliment our kids on their being (“You are so handsome”) AND on their good behavior (“What a healthy eater! You ate your carrots!”) we are speaking in the best of both worlds.

Challenge yourself to compliment your child's behavior more often. See what kind of a difference it makes.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Its that time again

Goals, to-do lists, resolutions...whatever you want to call them. I like the idea of throwing my ideas out there to hold me accountable throughout the next twelve months. This was my post from last year.

I guess I did alright with my 2008 goals. It seems like so long ago, doesn't it?

1. Run a full marathon? Check. One of the most memorable days of my life.

2. Save 15-20k? Check...but just barely. When we figured this number we totally forgot that we'd be paying part of Nate's tuition....three semesters each year. I definitely didn't expect the big bill for his stupid books, either:) Somehow we also neglected to take into account that we had three out of town weddings and a pimped out anniversary trip headed our way in 2008. Whoops! But regardless, I'm very proud of the amount we saved. Down payment, what?? Someday, folks. Someday.

3. Obtain a professional wedding album? Check, if you want to call my own little business 'professional.' I'm incredibly thankful that I stumbled upon my new hobby of designing albums and J.Lorene Design has been a ton of fun for me this past year. Plus a little guilt free spending money never hurts, either.

4. Catch up on our traditional 'everyday' scrapbook? Check, but it's out of date again. I caught up our 2007 through NYE so I'm officially a year behind yet again. I plan on making a Blurb book [big surprise] for the whole year of 2008 and can't wait to get started on it. In fact, I'm taking a break from J.Lorene until February so that I can catch up on my own album....and I need to remember what free time feels like, too:) I know, it's a rough problem to have, isn't it?

5. Find a church and start going on Sundays? Not so much. We did great from January and February and then we moved away from our little church. There are always a ton of excuses that keep us from finding a new church around here but enough is enough....this goal goes back on the 2009 list for sure.

That brings us to my updated 2009 goals. I can honestly say that I'm pretty content with life right now and don't have a strong need to 'fix' anything major. But because I love lists and want to make 2009 as fabulous as 2008, here it goes:

1. Find a church and attend 2 of 4 Sundays each month. Gotta make it more objective this time:)

2. Go skiing with Nate. He's been begging, pleading, and dropping mad hints since the day we moved up here and it's about time I obliged his wishes. The only problem is this: I grew up in 'the south' and he's a northern boy. Therefore, he was one of those 4 year old kids flying down the side of a mountain with no fear of dying from a horrendous fall. My first and only time skiing was at the ripe old age of 21 and I hated those four year olds who zoomed passed me sans fear. I took my fair share of falls and could barely walk after two days on a ski hill....and my competitive nature didn't bode well with sucking at skiing.

However, marriage is about compromise. I don't love skiing like Nate does but I'll do it to enjoy the great outdoors [trying to look at the positive side of having multiple feet of snow on the ground] and to get cool pictures of the great outdoors. He swears he won't take me down a black diamond slope 'on accident' because if he does, I will spear him with a pole and cry like a four year old child. :)

3. Save 12-15k. It's going to be tough with tuition, the crappy economy, four out of town weddings, and those cursed books....but I know we can do it if we make enough sacrifices. My inner tight wad is all over this one, too.

4. Run in two half-marathons, a full if I'm feeling crazy. I know I want to train for more races but I can't fully commit to another full marathon. It's just SO MUCH TIME. Plus my ankle is still less than 100% and I'm getting old. And it's cold. And I like not running for multiple hours each day. Excuses much? Who knows, maybe I'll ignore my inner geriatric and embrace another full but for now, my goal is two halves. Maybe I'll just shoot for a half in under two hours as a goal but secretly my ultimate goal would be a full in under four hours. Yikes! Did I just admit that?

5. Be grateful, be present, and enjoy every day of 2009. This is my only wishy-washy, vague goal but it's an important one for me. I fully admit to being a pessimist at times and I worry way too much for my own good. Sometimes I lose sight of the many blessings in my life and that is simply unacceptable. I catch myself looking towards the future, striving for 'the next step' in life instead of enjoying the moment. And I have a feeling that I'll look back on these days with fond memories, wishing that I enjoyed our time before kids, before owning a house, and before we have two salaries.

I mean, I'm not going to lie: when Nate graduates and we have dual incomes I might shed a little tear and stare at our bank account in disbelief. But then we'll probably start paying a mortgage and we might even be parents and both of these steps involve major sacrifices. So until then I'm going to sit back, relax, and enjoy this 'easy' phase of life. I also plan on getting lots of sleep and drinking plenty of wine:)

So here's to 2009 being the best year yet. And hopefully it will bring less snow than 2008:)