Sunday, June 18, 2017
Allister and friends
I am a horrible wife and blogger my friends. I forgot to holla at my boy, Nate, on his birthday [which was a whole week ago]. Shame on me, I know--- for it isn't every day we celebrate the day his age matches his haggard wife's. We are both 27 now, thankyouverymuch. And now I don't feel like a cougar robbing the cradle of my younger hubby [it's just four months, but he likes to rub it in my wrinkled face].
Also, said elderly hubby went to Vegas last weekend for a bachelor party. It's a very rough life he leads, dear readers, try not to be too jealous of him. I've never been to Vegas [nor do I care to] but why was I the last to know that the City of Sin is freaking expensive as hell? I kid you not: he paid $50 as a COVER to a club. A cover. As in, walk through the door and drop the equivalent of a tank of gas for just existing.
The boys also had to reserve a poolside cabana each day for $400! Last time I checked I could catch some rays for free but maybe I'm just naive. Okay, I'm whining now----the point is that Nate is a very good husband [and didn't want to deal with the repercussions if he spent a boatload of money] and stayed on budget during his trip. Gold star for that one!
Anyway, in honor of the bachelor party shenanigans I feel it's necessary to relive the past. Back to the glory days, my friends. Let us visit the land before my blog---my bachelorette party! In April of 2007 my bridesmaids planned a helluva bridal shower followed by a pimped out b.party in Columbia, Missouri.
Here are the lovelies:
I received many fabulous gifts at the shower, including my attire for the evening. This would be a tee shirt....with my face on it.....exclaiming "Look at my cute face." Ah, the irony!
Why are showers always so odd? Opening presents in front of others always weirds me out in some way. "Ooooh, lookie! A soap pump.....that I chose on my registry.....and recently stalked my online registry to see that someone purchased it for me.....yippeee!"
Did I mention that I had the most adorable bridesmaids eva?
And now we progress from the G-rated version to PG-13. Mom and Memaw, I love you much and hope you aren't too grossed out----but girls will be girls:)
What is little Kim doing here?
Ta-Da!!! I'd like to introduce Allister-the-six-foot-penis. You see, one of the games at my shower was the ever-famous "how well do you know your fiance" game. Apparently I suck because I did not know that Nate's dad wanted to name him Allister. Freaking Allister, you guys.
Koozies are key, don't you think?
If I was a blogger back then, this would have been my profile pic for sure. Note the glittery wieners on my head please.
Ah yes, Look at our cute faces! Also....holy crap my hair was long!
So this one time at a bar...
...these girls made the bachelorette perform tasks written on cards, drawn out of a basket. Said tasks ranged from fun to flirty to embarrassing. For example, one card stated "Find the oldest guy at the bar and give him the worm." Here I am explaining [in detail] what was to occur:
So then we danced a lot...
See?
And took unflattering pictures of the bride-to-be. She's a hot mess, that one there.
So yeah, I miss my girls a little bit now. I'm hoping that the next few b.parties are equally entertaining:)
On a totally unrelated note: I am freaking out right now over this weekend's run. We are trying for 22 miles, which will be our longest run before the race. NOT cool, very scary, and it better stop raining before Saturday morning or it's going to be a wet 4 hour run.
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