Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Allister and friends
I am a horrible wife and blogger my friends. I forgot to holla at my boy, Nate, on his birthday [which was a whole week ago]. Shame on me, I know--- for it isn't every day we celebrate the day his age matches his haggard wife's. We are both 27 now, thankyouverymuch. And now I don't feel like a cougar robbing the cradle of my younger hubby [it's just four months, but he likes to rub it in my wrinkled face].
Also, said elderly hubby went to Vegas last weekend for a bachelor party. It's a very rough life he leads, dear readers, try not to be too jealous of him. I've never been to Vegas [nor do I care to] but why was I the last to know that the City of Sin is freaking expensive as hell? I kid you not: he paid $50 as a COVER to a club. A cover. As in, walk through the door and drop the equivalent of a tank of gas for just existing.
The boys also had to reserve a poolside cabana each day for $400! Last time I checked I could catch some rays for free but maybe I'm just naive. Okay, I'm whining now----the point is that Nate is a very good husband [and didn't want to deal with the repercussions if he spent a boatload of money] and stayed on budget during his trip. Gold star for that one!
Anyway, in honor of the bachelor party shenanigans I feel it's necessary to relive the past. Back to the glory days, my friends. Let us visit the land before my blog---my bachelorette party! In April of 2007 my bridesmaids planned a helluva bridal shower followed by a pimped out b.party in Columbia, Missouri.
Here are the lovelies:
I received many fabulous gifts at the shower, including my attire for the evening. This would be a tee shirt....with my face on it.....exclaiming "Look at my cute face." Ah, the irony!
Why are showers always so odd? Opening presents in front of others always weirds me out in some way. "Ooooh, lookie! A soap pump.....that I chose on my registry.....and recently stalked my online registry to see that someone purchased it for me.....yippeee!"
Did I mention that I had the most adorable bridesmaids eva?
And now we progress from the G-rated version to PG-13. Mom and Memaw, I love you much and hope you aren't too grossed out----but girls will be girls:)
What is little Kim doing here?
Ta-Da!!! I'd like to introduce Allister-the-six-foot-penis. You see, one of the games at my shower was the ever-famous "how well do you know your fiance" game. Apparently I suck because I did not know that Nate's dad wanted to name him Allister. Freaking Allister, you guys.
Koozies are key, don't you think?
If I was a blogger back then, this would have been my profile pic for sure. Note the glittery wieners on my head please.
Ah yes, Look at our cute faces! Also....holy crap my hair was long!
So this one time at a bar...
...these girls made the bachelorette perform tasks written on cards, drawn out of a basket. Said tasks ranged from fun to flirty to embarrassing. For example, one card stated "Find the oldest guy at the bar and give him the worm." Here I am explaining [in detail] what was to occur:
So then we danced a lot...
See?
And took unflattering pictures of the bride-to-be. She's a hot mess, that one there.
So yeah, I miss my girls a little bit now. I'm hoping that the next few b.parties are equally entertaining:)
On a totally unrelated note: I am freaking out right now over this weekend's run. We are trying for 22 miles, which will be our longest run before the race. NOT cool, very scary, and it better stop raining before Saturday morning or it's going to be a wet 4 hour run.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
How to Apologize to Friends and Repair Relationships
You know the feeling.
That pit in your stomach when you realize you said something wrong.
That "thing" you weren't supposed to mention, or that "sore spot" that you forgot about.
Intentional or not, we've all said something to a friend that was not helpful.
With some people, the situation goes away easily. No one takes offense, and the matter is laughed away. Sometimes our compassionate friends know that we didn't mean to hurt them, and because they recognize the look of terror on our faces, they forgive us without a word. Other times, the tension simply goes away after a couple days, and things return to normal. I am grateful for friendships that fall into each of these categories. Sometimes I simply don't think before I speak, and I'm glad I have been forgiven!
However, other times my careless words have been misunderstood. Maybe she didn't recognize the movie I was quoting. Maybe she didn't hear my entire sentence, and so I sounded mean. Either way, I have said the wrong thing to people who have not given me the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, friendships were damaged, and some of those friendships have not been repairable. Occasionally I wish that I could go back and change those conversations, but over the years I've learned that if people want to be offended then they'll find a way to be offended. If people want to think that you are a decent human being, they'll give you the benefit of the doubt when you make a mistake.
When you inevitably make a mistake and offend a friend, you must apologize. Even if the offense happened with one of your best friends who forgave you the moment you said it, at least acknowledge that you goofed.
Apologizing to "other people" can be more difficult.
The people who are on that precipice between acquaintance and friend. You know, the people that may not give you the benefit of the doubt. The people whom you want a friendship with (because they are co-workers, in-laws, or your husband's friends' wives) but with whom the bond doesn't come naturally.
Yet apologizing to these "fruaintances" (he he, like my made-up word?) is vital!
These are the people you see on a frequent basis, and they play a role in your happiness and comfortability during office parties, birthday celebrations, family reunions, and Superbowl games. If your words (whether misunderstood or not) seem to offend someone, make it a priority to apologize. Tension can divide groups; tension can burn bridges; and tension can evolve into rumors, backbiting, and gossip. None of which are desirable for a "fruaintance" relationship. Instead of crossing the offended person off your friend list and avoiding them like a plague, simply apologize.
Here's how to apologize:
-Take them aside, one-on-one, and say you are sorry for your careless words or actions.
-Or, write them a note and mail it to them.
-Or, send them an e-mail the next day.
-Just do something to acknowledge your indiscretion! Include an apology.
An apology does not need to be some inflated message. Only take responsibility for what you genuinely feel guilty about saying or doing. It is okay to acknowledge that tension exists without apologizing for every aspect of blame. Keep your apology genuine and your words respectful. Let your spouse or another calm adult read your apology to help you filter out any tension-evoking phrases.
Do not apologize that the person “feels” a certain way. The common statement, "I'm sorry you feel angry," is not an apology. It is actually kind of a mockery. He or she is allowed to have feelings. Instead, apologize for your own behavior. Also, do not use an apology as a way to justify your behavior. Sending a note that further explains why "you are right, and they are wrong" is unhelpful and rude.
If you do not feel like you were in the wrong, but someone took offense, it is appropriate to address the situation. Acknowledge that he or she looked upset, and describe your behavior's intention. Even if you don't apologize, the person will feel validated, and the relationship can recover. A difference of opinion does not have to be a deal breaker for "fruaintances."
Have courage, apologize, and be kind.
"When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it," writes Stephen R. Covey. If you need to repair a relationship, show kindness. Respect their feelings, and be honest about your feelings. Show mercy and forgiveness, and apologize frequently. The world could use a little more kindness.
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Memorial Day Weekend 2014 Fun with Friends
If I don't post about our fun Memorial Day weekend soon, I will never do it. Which, I'm sure most of you do not care at all about recaps like these, so feel free to skim the (crazy amount of) pictures and move on. I mostly want to record this one for my future self so sorry if this is not your thing, and sorry if I break your computer with a ridiculous number of pictures. Can't help it!
As I said before, Erin did an awesome recap post of her own that I will never top. In fact, I think I will keep the descriptions to a bare minimum and go with visual evidence of the fun instead.
I worked until about 11:30am that Friday, then picked up the kids from Lori's and put CC down for her nap at home. Erin, Ben, Annie, and Luke arrived a little after noon and we all had lunch together here. We hung out in the backyard and let the kids (minus napping CC) play, and when Nate got home from work around 1:30 Erin and I booked it out of here to get our pedicures. LOVE girl time/pampering time.
Once we got back home we started gearing up for our dinner of take out pizza at the local beer garden. We met Dizzy and family there, plus some of our neighbors, and the kids all had a ball. Eating outside in the summer is pretty much the best thing ever, right? Especially when getting frozen yogurt after dinner outside? Yes.
Peeking through the bean bag toss game.
Brain freeze!
Not tired at all after the walk home with the dads (moms took the van with little kids, duh).
The dads ended up staying up late for drinks by the fire pit this night, but us moms and kids went to bed at a reasonable hour. Our visitors stayed at our old stomping grounds---the upper duplex at my in-laws place! It provided a lot more room (two separate bedrooms and a whole living area) than we could have made for them here....although the basement was SUPPOSED to be finished by now, which would have been pretty sweet, too. Oh well. Someday.
Saturday:
Truman informed me, 'I slept in!' at 6:40am when he walked in our room this day, so I'm sure he sat there and watched his clock stay yellow for a solid 10 minutes before waking us up. Ha. Erin and Ben's family was also up bright and early, so as soon as they came to our house Erin and I took it upon ourselves to walk to brunch alone and put our name in at Blue's Egg. We knew it would be a crazy wait, as always, and it ended up being 1.5 hours instead of the 45 minutes they quoted us....but coffee and sunshine helped. The kids and dads came and waited with us for the last part of it and brunch itself did not disappoint. I knew we had to attempt one brunch out with our guests because they are such foodies and seem to bite the bullet dining with their kids a lot in Minnesota. Always a feat but worth it!
The dads then went on a brewery tour downtown, while Erin and I took the kids across the street to the school playground. So adorable. I sat in gum on a bench but otherwise all was well.
We convinced Truman to take his first nap at home in....months? so that the other kids and Erin and I could also sleep. It was fun to have four kids sleeping in two bedrooms upstairs and they all napped like champs--Erin and I not so much, but we ended up going outside to chill/chat. The boys came home and us adults all hung out a bit before the kids woke up and we started getting ready for the BBQ. This was basically just a chance to get everyone together to see Erin and Ben and it ended up being SO much fun. I love hosting parties/BBQs at our house and this time was no exception. Everyone stayed late enough for s'mores by the fire and the kids were happy, messy disasters by the end.
Little girls.
So many kids and this isn't even all of the rug rats!
Bubbles were a huge hit.
S'mores!
Love this one.
Nate putting three kids to bed = heart melted. This was right before Truman saw Annie sucking her thumb, he stared at his own, and tried to figure out how to recreate for himself. Ha! And Annie asked Nate to put his arm around her. Awwwww.
Once the kids were down at our place, the four remaining adults went back outside by the fire and chatted until the wee hours. Mostly we were planning a Mexico, adult-only trip for next year and I cannot.freaking.wait. I took the R family to the duplex maybe around midnight---such a good designated driver, I am;)
Sunday:
Up and at 'em at 6:40 again! Our family got ready, Nate picked up donuts, and then both of our families went down to the Lakefront for Collectivo and the beach.
Thanks, Ben!
I thought the playground by the lake would be a big hit but the beach was definitely favored by all. It was sort of dirty at the McKinley area so we trekked up to Bradford beach instead. So hot this day and so much fun. Big camera came out to play, of course.
Family shots!
Random stranger nailed the group shot for us!
My kids passed out in the van on the way home, and then Cecelia wouldn't nap after that and pretended to be super happy/energetic. Note that I say 'pretended'. But Truman, my child who never naps at home, slept and slept for at least 3 hours. Woah. The adults sat outside a bit, ate lunch, and then we started getting ready for our fancy dinner out. Cecelia finally crashed for her nap at 3:30 which is REALLY late and crazy, but I could not ask Lois to watch her in that state. I guess she ended up sleeping for three hours, too :/ Lois came over to watch our four kids and we went to Erin and Dave's house for a bit, before meeting Andrea/Jim and Dizzy downtown at the Harbor House. I hadn't eaten there before and love seafood, so it was delicious and a much needed 'adult only' activity. Plus, carting around six adults in the mini-van? Yes. Again: I'm a good DD.
Dinner took awhile and we were a little nervous to walk into pure chaos with Lois handling four kids alone, but it seemed to go well! We put them to bed, the guys all went out to a nearby bar, and myself with the two Erins hung out in the family room for girl chat. I believe the guys got home slightly after their curfew of midnight and I was surprised that I didn't feel exhausted for being such a night owl, two nights in a row!
Monday:
Our visitors packed up and came over to our house for coffee and a little bit of breakfast. Then we walked to the Tosa Village for Starbucks, then to Hart Park for playground activities (ie get your energy out before you are in the car for 5+ hours, kiddos!). A train went by so every child was in heaven. And we managed to get one big group shot by a stranger again.
Note my horrible posture--must be getting tired.
We walked back home with Erin and Ben, ate a quick bite, and saw them off for their drive home. Cecelia had already begged for her nap, but Truman was up and seemingly fine when giving Annie her hug goodbye. But he stayed inside while Nate and I went out to say goodbye, and when we came back in T was sobbing on the couch saying he was going to miss Annie. He said he wanted to say goodbye again, so we ran him outside to give Annie another fist pound. Poor, sensitive boy. It's hard to see a fun weekend come to a close! I feel you, buddy.
We spent the rest of the afternoon regaining a bit of a routine. It was Memorial Day and really nice outside again (kind of hot but you will not hear me complain!), so we got a few really cute pictures of our little family.
I believe I did about 8 loads of laundry, we cleaned, meal planned, and kept saying what a fun weekend we had. We are still saying the same thing, nearly two weeks later!
I might try to see Erin in September when she is in Chicago for a trip, but otherwise it might be awhile for us all to get together again. It's our turn to make the trip to MN again--last year we went up there for the Fourth of July and had a ball. As always: thankful for the blog and internet-friends-turned-real-life-friends!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)