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Sunday, August 13, 2017

Moms Make it Work Kendra Full Time Working Mom in Management

Today on the Moms Make it Work series we have Kendra posting as a full time working mom in a management position. I had a few requests for this type of mom to post and Kendra came through for us via Instagram. She is a fellow Wisconsin girl in healthcare, who suffered a miscarriage so automatically I could relate to Kendra (even without the management-type career). And then the sleeeepp issues. Oh, the sleep. I feel you, girl!! Enjoy;)

momsmakeitwork

Hello, my name is Kendra and I'm a full time nurse coordinator (think of it as mid-level management) and mother of a one year old (July 8th!) living in a suburb of Madison, WI. I've been following Julia since somewhere around her 1st pregnancy and it's just worked out that topics she has shared ended up having relevance in my own life (miscarriage, cloth diapering, pumping, etc.) later on. This series has been so interesting to me, as it began shortly after I returned to work and I feel like my pumping sessions wouldn't be the same without all of these awesome guest posts! I don't currently blog, but I'm on Instagram as kendraoc.

What is your background story?

I grew up in a suburb of Milwaukee, but always dreamed of going away to college. I did a health care apprenticeship in high school where I worked as a nursing assistant in a hospital and then a nursing home, so I knew early on that I wanted to be a nurse. I loved helping people, getting to know all sorts of patients, and I also knew that there are so many different job opportunities in nursing. I went to the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia for four amazing years. While I was there, my mom was diagnosed with stage I breast cancer and while attending radiation treatments with her, I realized that oncology was where I belonged. I worked on an inpatient oncology and bone marrow transplant floor at a major university hospital back in WI after my junior year of college, and ended up with a job there after college when my best friend from home asked me to be her roommate.

I only planned on being back in WI for a year or two, but as the end of my first year approached, I met my husband at a co-worker's party. We dated for 4 years before getting engaged, and have been married now for almost 5 years. He now works for his family's business that is based here, so we're pretty much settled here for quite a while.

I always somehow "knew" that conceiving a child would be challenging for me. Long story short, I don't ovulate on my own for unknown reasons. My husband and I embarked on fertility treatments in November 2011 and were overjoyed to get pregnant on our third cycle in February 2012. We had planned a trip to Paris and Nice, France in March as sort of a last hurrah before babies, so it seemed that things were falling into place. Unfortunately, on our second night in Paris, I had a miscarriage. Our first views of the Arc de Triomphe were in a cab on our way to the American Hospital in Paris. It was an experience that I can't even begin to describe here We got pregnant again our first cycle after the miscarriage, but had a missed miscarriage in June 2012.

We took a small break from things and got pregnant again in October 2012. As if the emotions of the year had not been enough, I got the positive pregnancy test result for my third pregnancy less than 24 hours after sitting at my grandmother's bedside as she passed away.

My husband, fertility doctors, therapist and the OB I chose were so great in supporting me through the vomiting, anxiety, and impatience of this pregnancy. I gave birth to our daughter Elsa on July 8, 2013.

What was your career before you became a mom?

I've worked at the same academic medical center since college, changing roles a few times, but always staying with oncology. I'm currently a nurse coordinator, managing the clinic where patients receive chemotherapy and undergo procedures. I've been in this role for 2 1/2 years.

-What are the best parts of your situations?

Unlike some jobs in nursing, I don't work any holidays or weekends, just M-F. I love the field that I'm in and I'm constantly learning new medications and technology. I've maintained my clinical skills so that I can jump in to do patient care and cover staff for breaks. It can be so satisfying to be able to place an IV on the first try for patient who has been through some rough times.The people are who really keep me coming back: I have a great manager who is also a working mom, a lot of staff that I'm friends with from before I took a management role, and of course some pretty awesome patients.

What are the challenges?

I'm sort of obsessed with my daughter and spending time with her, so obviously I'm thinking about her all day. I mean look at this face:.

More practically speaking though, my commute can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes, and since almost every major roadway is under construction this summer in WI, driving and parking can sometimes be very stressful. On the days I pick Elsa up from daycare, my husband knows I can call with 15 minutes notice because I am stuck in traffic and won't make it. The one and only daycare "event" they had for us around Christmas I missed because it was snowing and it took me an hour and 45 minutes to get there. I cried for about 15 minutes, and then realized at least this year she wouldn't remember that Mommy wasn't there.

Keeping the household in order from cooking, cleaning, bills, grocery shopping, etc. also stresses me out a bit. There just never seems to be enough time, and I've had to lower my standards significantly in the cooking and cleaning departments for sure.

At least one night per week, my job requires me to be the late manager on site. This means I am there until the last patient is gone, which can be anywhere from 5:30 on a great day, to 7ish when we have an emergency patient situation or someone who needs to be admitted to the hospital. I know that's not horribly late or anything, but see the above about my commute, and then factor in a child who is not the best sleeper and pretty much refuses to go to sleep until Mommy is home and can breastfeed her. This means I pretty much fly in the door, grab the child, change my clothes, pull out the boob, and do the bedtime routine.

Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?

I never really pictured myself SAH, although it is a nice grass is always greener sort of fantasy I have, I think I'll always be working. I did however, think with a job in nursing that I would work part-time once I had kids, but once I took a management position, it sort of locked me into a full time job, at least for now.

-Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?

I think my ideal situation would be my same job but working 4 days a week instead of 5, in order to get all of the household stuff done during the week instead of letting it take over our weekends.

-Do you see yourself making a career change (whatever that means) in the next 5-10 years? Or is this current set up staying put for the long haul?

I had actually started graduate school for a masters in nursing administration while I was pregnant, but I've put that on hold since I think it's pretty much impossible with my current set up to be doing school while working full time with a child. I think I'll stay in my current role for at least the next 5 years, but at some point I would love to finish my masters to open myself up for different career opportunities.

-Tips on how you make your situation work for you:

1. Daycare: We love the center Elsa goes to, and I have full confidence in her teachers. She is a pretty social child and she lights up when she sees her main teacher and all her little friends. We picked a center that is 5 minutes from our home and my husband's work. He has much more flexibility in when he goes in or leaving early to pick her up if she's sick. When I was pregnant, I assumed he would do most of the daycare drop off and pick up, but after I went back to work, I realized that I enjoy interacting with her teachers and learning about what she's doing. Now I try to do a mix of 5 pick ups or drop offs per week.

2. Hour flexibility: About a month after I went back to work, I had a talk with my boss and told her I was really struggling with the days I was the late manager. I was gone from Elsa from 7 am to close to 7 pm, so we worked out a plan that I come in around 9:30 am the days I am expected to work late. I mentioned that my husband's hours are flexible, and he can even work at home if he needs to, but it also helps that my manager is also very understanding of the need to leave early or come in late for doctor appointments or if Elsa is sick.

3. Use "shortcuts": I use online shopping for a LOT of things. It's just so much easier to order stuff on my Amazon app on my phone while I'm pumping or stock up on clothes on sale online with free shipping and returns than trying to schlep to stores on the weekend or after work. We also used this site Plated for meal delivery a lot this winter, when I was struggling with meal planning. You pick at least two meals for the week and they deliver all the food you need to make it, with things like spices already measured. I love cooking, but deciding what to make, so this worked well for us. In the summer, we use a local farm's CSA, so we have big bags of produce that I actually pick up at work, so I can throw together meals from whatever is fresh that week.

-How do you handle mommy guilt?

Well, I try not to compare myself or my child to anyone else's---I know that we're all just doing the best we can, and that every child is different. I've learned to trust my instincts as a mom and do what my husband and I feel is right for Elsa and right for us, rather than try to read through parenting books or feel bad that I'm not following the latest unsolicited piece of advice. I've also learned that along this parenting journey, things go much better when you don't start saying, "oh, I'll NEVER do xyz".

My best example of all of this would be Elsa's sleeping: I remember when I was pregnant telling people that she would be in our room in a pack and play until 3 months old. Well, 3 months came, and after an awful night of trying to transition her to her own room/crib, my husband and I realized that neither of us actually wanted her out of our room, we just felt like that's what we were supposed to do. We brought her back in the next night and we all slept much better. Around 5 months, I came down with an awful flu and she started teething and we were just not sleeping. I ended up bringing her into bed with us, and she slept better than ever before. Now, at 11 months, she usually sleeps in her crib until about 10:30 and then sleeps with us in bed the rest of the night. I've had lots of advice on how to get her out of our bed, stop nursing her at night, sleep through the night, and on, but my husband and I are okay with our situation for now, so we're not trying to change anything at the moment. Unless I can find someone giving advice who wants to come to my house and wake up with my daughter throughout the night, we'll probably figure things out on our own.

-Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying at home is the right choice?

I guess see above about trusting your own instincts, and know that what's right for you might not be right for the next mom. I also agree with what others have said about giving your situation some time to settle before making a big change. I think it's always hard the first few months you go back to work, but then you get into a groove and figure out what works and doesn't work for you and your family.

-How do you keep your house clean? Power cleaning after bedtime? Staying out of the house as much as possible? Cleaning while kids are awake? Purging often? Cleaning schedule?

I never really feel like it's up to my standards anymore, so I suggest lowering these significantly :) I really hate spending a lot of my Elsa time on the weekends cleaning, so I usually have my mom or mother-in-law watch her at our house for a couple hours so I can do a big clean all at once. My husband usually cleans up any toys while I'm nursing Elsa or doing the bedtime routine. I'm not good at doing a whole lot during the week other than dishes and washing cloth diapers. I actually think I finally convinced my husband that we need a cleaning service twice a month, so I think this will make me worry even less about house maintenance.

{Thanks, Kendra! Find the rest of the MMIW series here}

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Work Outfits Part 1

Hi! Remember me? I have been terrible at keeping up on here. I do have a semi excuse - I start a new job Monday! New job means outfit making time! Like my usual outfit creations, I had to have inspiration pictures. I have been in a definite winter slump and struggling to make cute outfits! I wear the same clothes year round, just in different layers, so at times it can be difficult to come up with a new and exciting outfit. Inspiration pictures to the rescue!

I save tons of Fashion inspiration on my Pinterest page, so whenever I am in a rut I head here and try and recreate a few of them. I know a lot are quite a big stretch, but anything to get me thinking with what I have. PS - EVERY SINGLE PICTURE from here had a broken link on Pinterest, or went to someone's tumblr page so they weren't the actual owner, etc. Drives me CRAZY when you try and click on a Pinterest picture and the link is broken or it goes to a random site with no information. Grrr! Makes me want to watermark my pics so that never happens with my site!

Let's begin! I can wear jeans at my new job, which is awesome! I absolutely LOVE this inspiration picture - her rocking bod doesn't hurt either. But I love how it is professional yet fun with her leopard shoes and statement necklace.

Inspiration

I attempted to take a couple of these pics with my nice camera. I don't think I am strong enough to hold up the camera and suck it in and attempt to pose.

Blazer: H&M, Necklace: Target (I think?), Tank: Target, Jeans: Citizens of Humanity, Leopard Heels: Guess

Reality

Weird - another blazer look. I have saved this photo for a while, too. I am still dying to get a pale coral blazer. So pretty! I love love love blazers because they look a little fancier, but are usually pretty comfy. And you can usually find cute ones at Forever 21 or inexpensive boutiques.

Inspiration

Again, definitely a stretch but it made me pair these two pieces together that I normally wouldn't!

Blazer: Forever 21, Tank: Express, Jeans: MiH, Flats: Von Maur (sorry about my awkward partial turn out. I swear this is cuter in real life).

Reality

Close up of the earrings! $2! (Heartbreaker - local MN boutique)

Clearly I am dying for color in all of this dreary weather. Can't take much more of it! Love this inspiration pic to keep me happy in brights!

Inspiration

I kind of flip flopped the colors but it works!

Top: Express, Cardigan: Target, Necklace: gift from mom in Key West, Jeans: Alloy, Flats: Steve Madden

Reality

Normally Kim Kardashian's outfits would be hard to remake, but this one is easy!

Inspiration

I still want to find a better pair of black jeggings. These are little stiff and I want a pair that are sleek and comfy! (sorry about the giant camera strap).

Blazer: Forever 21, Tank: Target, Necklace: Francesca's, Skinnies: Alloy, Heels: Jessica Simpson

Reality

Both of these outfits are soooo cute, but I knew I could recreate one of them almost exactly!

Inspiration

My version isn't as cute, but I tried! I wish my sweater was a little looser, then I wouldn't be so judgmental of myself. :)

Sweater: Macy's, Blouse: NY&Co, Necklace: Express, Jeans: Alloy, Boots: Heartbreaker

Reality

I have a large obsession with Courtney Kerr, her show, blog, and most importantly, her style! I stalk her Instagram daily to see her outfits and she ever disappoints. This photo wasn't so much an exact inspiration, but reminded me of one of my favorite shirts.

Source: http://instagram.com/thecourtneykerr

Inspiration

Love this shirt! I wish I had some green skinnies. Then I would really love this outfit.

Top: Old Navy, Necklace: Urban Outfitters, Jeans: MiH, Flats: Steve Madden

Reality

I'm always looking for ways to wear my plum jeans, and when I saw this on Instagram I was in love!

Source: http://instagram.com/mimiikonn

Inspiration

Such a simple but cute look!

Top: Old Navy: Jeans: MiH, Necklace: Urban Outfitters, Shoes: Steve Madden

Reality

And last but not least, I didn't have an inspiration picture, just want to wear it. So sue me!

Top: Target, Skinnies: Alloy, Boots: Heartbreaker, Necklace: Francesca's

I will post on Instagram what I actually end up wearing. I am going to start up the #30dayclosetremix like I did last year. Force myself to be accountable and try to keep this up!

I also had Nate order an outlet protector since my goal is to actually do my hair more often for work. The biggest problem - I worry I leave my flat iron plugged in and have anxiety all day long that I left it on. Problem solved!

Are you in a winter fashion rut? What tips do you have to get out of it??

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Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Moms Make it Work Kim from Illinois

Today we have Kim from NewlyWoodwards posting about her recent transition from working full time to staying home full time with adorable Henry. I was looking forward to hearing her thoughts on this big change and her post did not disappoint. Love peeking into her new life and how she makes it work. Enjoy!

momsmakeitwork

When Julia asked me if I wanted to be part of this series, I had a moment. You know, the one where I wondered if I could actually fool anyone who reads My Life in Transition into thinking that I have it all together.

I mean, most days, I'm not even sure that I "make it work."

But I think the beauty of this series is that every mom may do things differently and see things differently, but we can also support each other in all the differences and similarities. I've so enjoyed reading through the other contributors. I'm truly inspired by hearing the stories of other families and moms.

Anyhow, I guess this is all just to say that I'm truly flattered to be a part of such a wonderful community of women - and happy to have met Julia through blogging.

As far as introductions go - I'm Kim and I have been blogging at NewlyWoodwards since 2008. I also overshare on Instagram as NewlyWoodwards, if you are so inclined to follow along with photos of ... my kid. (Because let's be honest, there's little else going on around those parts.)

Our blog began as a way to share our first home renovation - a foreclosure purchased in 2007. My husband Ryan is a true do-it-yourselfer. He's tackled just about every type of home project on his own. I mostly just come up with big ideas, get in the way, and paint.

Kim and Ryan

Since that first renovation, we've added three rental properties to our "arsenal" and renovated a second foreclosed home. We moved into the house just weeks before I got pregnant with our son Henry.

kimry

With that out of the background out of the way, I'll answer some of Julia's questions from my perspective.

What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And now where are you?

For about five years before having Henry, I was "living the dream." I had an enviable job working for a financial services organization in corporate public relations. I really enjoyed the work - mainly focused on events, sponsorships and social media. It was pretty much the job I dreamed of landing when I graduated from college in 2006.

Not to say that it was always perfect. It was a very traditional work environment and sometimes that didn't fit my personality. And, like any job for a larger company, sometimes the politics made me crazy. Does anyone love red tape? But I really liked the work, thrived in my role, and appreciated the benefits and work environment on most days. I was able to go back to school to earn my MBA with support from my employer. I was able to build a great network of other professionals.

When we found out I was pregnant, Ryan and I both assumed that I'd continue working after Henry was born. I had a fairly easy pregnancy and - with the exception of sometimes wanting to pull a "George Costanza" and nap under the desk - I actually enjoyed working through the 9 months I carried Henry. (Not to mention the fact that being pregnant makes people extra nice. I think that working while pregnant is a good way to get extra coddled. No one wants you to go into labor in a budget meeting. AMIRIGHT?)

I decided to take 10 weeks maternity leave. Then when Henry appeared four weeks early, I dove into motherhood. I didn't think of anything but boobs and diapers and carriers and bedtimes for the first few weeks. And then I came out of the fog and truly enjoyed those remaining time with Henry. It was summer in the Midwest, I was a mom, and life was good.

In short, I truly relished my time at home. And I wasn't ready to go back. I briefly toyed with the idea of staying home permanently. But, it was more fantasy than reality and I couldn't really see myself doing it. I liked having a career for a lot of reasons. So, I put on the pantyhose and heels (for real!) and headed back to work in August.

At first, I was okay with it. Henry was with my mom during the day for the first few months and I enjoyed getting back into projects and meetings and reports. I felt productive at my job. I was proud that I was a working mom. I reveled in it. Henry transitioned into a great in-home daycare and was treated like a king there. He was the youngest and the kids and provider were a dream come true. (They all called him Baby Henry which just melted my heart.)

But as Henry started to get older and hit those milestones - eating, sitting up, standing, crawling, walking - I started to feel something. Guilt. And heaviness. It crept in. I always had a bit of it, but by this point I dreaded hearing what Henry did while I was at work. What I was missing.

I think it really peaked when I stopped pumping at work. Subconciously, spending time pumping made me feel connected with my baby. When he transitioned away from breast milk, I felt distanced. Almost unnecessary.

At the same time, my work load was increasing and I was feeling more and more stressed. I didn't enjoy the work anymore. I dreaded Mondays. I had a pit in my stomach when I hit those elevators each morning. I had to paste a smile on my face many days. And I knew that my family was getting the worst of me. For the three precious hours that I was with Henry, I was stressed and on-edge. I felt like we were in a never-ending cycle of home-dinner-bath-bed. And it wasn't a happy cycle.

I spent months fretting and stressing about the "right" thing to do. There were a lot of tears. I wasn't sure I was ready to give up my career. What if I quit my job and regretted it? What if I could never get hired again?

But I told myself I'd give it until August - a year after my maternity leave ended. There were a couple of important milestones in August - a work trip to Boston that I was looking forward to and becoming fully-vested in my retirement accounts. And when I hit that point, I felt the weight lift. It was clear that I was no longer happy. And I couldn't live with being unhappy. Ryan and I talked a lot about what leaving my job would mean and agreed it was the best decision for the entire family.

So, a bundle of nerves, I resigned. I gave 7 weeks notice, which I hoped would be enough to wrap up loose ends and possibly train a replacement. I felt so relieved, I could have cried. My boss was overwhelmingly supportive of my decision and my coworkers understood. It was a respectful parting of ways.

Since I left my office job in October 2013, I've realized that staying home was exactly the right decision for us right now.

Now, I spend my days with Henry and enjoy it more than I ever imagined. I also have the flexibility to get involved in the community in different ways. Right now, I'm leading the marketing team of the local Dress for Success affiliate, teaching a few classes at a local community college and doing some freelance newsletter writing for a local client. I feel really lucky to be able to continue to take on projects in my field while spending more time with my son.

I wrote in my resignation letter that while I was thankful for the opportunities given to me in my "dream job," it just wasn't a dream for me right now. And that was totally true. It wasn't easy for me to give up a job that I "should have" loved, but now I feel like I'm living the dream again.

What are the best parts of your situation? What are the biggest challenges?

I think the best change in our lives is evident in our mornings. I love mornings now.

This is saying a lot because I used to dread mornings. Ryan goes to work at 5 or 6 a.m., so when I was working at an office I was on my own with Henry in the morning. I tried to get ready before Henry woke up, which was rarely successful because he could hear me. If he did wake up, I'd try to rush to finish my makeup, hair and clothes to get him before he lost it. Or I'd try to hold him while I finished getting ready. Neither were fun. Then, I'd rush to get him fed and rush to get him to daycare and rush to get to work.

By the time I made it to work, I already felt on edge. Even on a "successful" morning, I felt tense.

What I love about being home is that we can ease into our day. I still try to get up before Henry, but neither of us are in a rush. (And Henry is sleeping more soundly, thank goodness.) I can give him a bath in the morning, which feels less rushed than it did in the evenings. We can play and eat breakfast and relax. No rushing. That's my favorite part.

But mostly, I just love the flexibility to do whatever we want to do. We both seem to do better when we leave the house, so we hit the library or museum or store most days. But, there's no pressure and ultimate flexibility to make our days our own. We were able to go to visit my parents in Arizona for almost two weeks in November. This was something that never would have worked when I was limited to XX vacation days.

On the other hand, there are a few challenges to our new situation. Some we anticipated and some were surprises. I'm still getting used to the freedom. I think I may have been more productive when I was working. I "had" to get everything done. Now, I find myself putting things off, because "there's always tomorrow." I have to push myself to complete projects and tasks now. And because my life is no longer dictated by things like deadlines (for the most part), sometimes I feel very unproductive. For someone who's used to nothing more than checking things off the list, that's a hard pill to swallow.

It also probably goes without saying that it's a big adjustment to go from two full-time incomes to one full-time income. I think it adds a bit of pressure to Ryan and a bit of insecurity to me. Nothing insurmountable, but something that requires more budgeting than I'm accustomed to. (I'm not spending much time shopping anymore.)

I also have a difficult time asking for help, which is a challenge. I feel like I "should" do it all since I'm not working outside the home. But I'm slowly learning that everyone needs a little help. A friend and I recently started swapping mornings so we could run errands or do some computer work without a toddler in-tow. It's been great for my sanity.

Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?

I definitely expected to be a career woman, so staying home with my son was way out of my realm. I also believed that I would never fill my living room with plastic toys. But, I also don't think I had any idea how much joy this little ham would bring me. So, I call it even.

Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?

I love being home and don't see myself going back to a traditional office job. I would eventually like to do a bit more freelance work if it works out. I like the flexibility to work at my own pace in my own way and I like the freedom to choose how much work to do. And I really like the idea of working for myself. We'll see what happens.

Tips on how you make this work for you?

I'm still pretty new to being home with my son and I definitely don't have all the answers. But here are a few things that work for us.

Get out.

This winter has been miserable in the Midwest with snow and cold and yuck. But, since Henry and I both thrive when we are "going," I make it a point to get out of the house almost every day. I know that this isn't ideal for everyone, but it's great for us. It helps us beat the monotony and meet new people.

Ask for help.

If other moms are like me, they feel like they should do it all. They should have a tidy house, home-cooked dinner, perfect kid .... the list goes on. I've already had to learn that I can't do it all and I am allowed to ask for help. From friends, from family and, especially, from my husband. I got really lucky in the husband department.

Be honest.

I feel really lucky to be at home with Henry, but some days are hard. I don't want to create a picture of this perfect, unicorn life. So, I try to share some of the challenges, too - in person and on social media.

Be a mom - but be a wife, friend and person, too.

In my experience, it can be easy to get sucked up into your child's every breath as a mom (in any working situation). For me, having a life outside of Henry is really important. Ryan and I try to make time to go on dates. I am involved in a book club and craft night every month. I get coffee and dinner with girl friends. And I try to spend time with the hobbies that I loved before Henry. These things keep me a little more grounded as a mom.

How do you handle mommy guilt that comes with each role?

I've been surprised that the mommy guilt didn't go away when I left my office job. It's just changed to be guilt about different things.

I don't think that I really have an answer for dealing with mommy guilt. I truly believe it's innate. But I try to focus on my family and my kid. I am a firm believer in the idea of parents knowing their kid better than anyone else. So, I let myself make the decisions for Henry and our family without fear of messing up. And I remind myself that I am doing my best and loving like crazy. I believe that counts for a lot.

Even when your kid accidentally gets a bite of jalapeño right before a family photo. Hypothetically. ("What kind of mother lets her kid eat a pepper?" says my mom guilt.)

Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying home is the right choice?

I worked outside the home for a year before I decided to stay home, so I guess my main piece of advice would be to trust your gut. I believed it was best for me to go back to work when Henry was 10 weeks old. And he really did well and thrived for a year in daycare. And then I chose to stay home when Henry was about a year and a half. And I think that's the best thing for him and I right now. I really trusted myself to make the right decision.

But that doesn't mean that any decision is forever. I was very dramatic about leaving my job. But the truth is, I could go back to work tomorrow if I wanted to. It wouldn't necessarily be the same job or the same pay or benefits. But I could work again. I recommend not doing what I do and remembering that this doesn't have to be a permanent decision either way.

(read all of the posts in this Moms Make it Work series here!)

Moms Make it Work Priscilla Full Time Working Military Mom

Today on the Moms Make it Work series is Priscilla, and her sister-in-law is a blog reader that suggested she write for our series. Priscilla works full time and part of those hours are spent working from home, along with traveling a bit for her job. Her husband is in the military (we've had so many awesome military families featured in this series!!) and she doesn't have family in her area, so that means she does a fair share of solo parenting, too. Priscilla just started blogging at Lola's World Unveiled and is very honest about her current situation: it's harder than she expected but worth it! Enjoy!

momsmakeitwork

I found out about Julia’s blog from a good friend of mine, my sister-in-law actually. She was the one that told me about the “Moms Make It Work” series. When I looked into it I thought it was such a great idea. Showcasing different moms from all over and sharing their story and how they make it work. So I decided to give it a try and tell you my story. I actually just started blogging, my sister-in-law was the one that got me into it. I do enjoy it and when I have the free time I sit and just write about my life experiences. If you want to check out my blog and read my story you can find me @ “Lola’s World Unveiled.” Until then, this is how I make it work….

What is your background Story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And where are you now?

I waited a long time before I even entertained the idea of becoming a mom let alone a wife for that matter. While I was going to school for my Bachelors and throughout primarily my whole life I had a vision of who I thought I was going to become. I have always envisioned myself becoming a great success. I didn’t know where my journey was going to lead up entirely, but what I did know was that I was going to live in New York City and make a ton of money. I never saw myself getting married or let alone having children until maybe my thirties, if at all. Everything I did in life I tried to succeed at and be the best at it. So when I thought of having a family it wasn’t something that I was looking for, even though I did want one eventually. I always felt that having a family would have hindered me from my goals in life and it wasn’t what I pictured for myself. It’s hard enough for a woman to achieve great success in the working environment and I didn’t want anything to get in my way. But then one day HE came along, and that all changed.

Before I became a Mom I had a Bachelors and was going for my Master’s. I graduated with my Master’s when my baby was only a month old. I was also working as a Sales Manager for a high end Fashion Company while living in New Jersey. Life was good, I was making good money and living a pretty fantastic life. Everything seemed to be going in the right direction, I had a wonderful husband and a fabulous life, what more could I ask for.

The million dollar question, where am I now?

I am living across the country in the furthest place I’d ever find myself from where I started (California), with a three year boy and a husband who is in the U.S Marine Corps. That’s right, this girl right here is a military wife, who would have known?! I work as a Sales Manager for an Engineering Company in San Diego. Life is good right now, I can finally say that things are getting back to how they use to be. It took some time to get to where I am now and the journey was a bumpy one, but it only made me a stronger person. Having a child has really put things in different perspectives but also made me view life differently. Being a mommy is probably one of the best things that could have happen to me. It definitely had its challenges in the beginning because it was uncharted territory for me and I had to give up a lot of myself for it. I made a ton of sacrifices with work and my career moves but it was all worth it.

The Best Parts and the Challenges of my situation?

Best part of my situation is being able to see my baby boy grow up, while managing my career and being a wife all at the same time. I’m so blessed to have a job that gives me the flexibility I need to still be a mom and still get my job done. I do have to travel at times for work but the perks are being able to work from home half the time. So I’m still able to spend that quality time with my little one. Not to mention that being a military wife doesn’t make matters any better for me and sometimes puts a significant strain on life. Being able to travel the world and go to places I would never live in, if it weren’t for my husband’s career can be pretty cool at times. But this too is a great challenge for me, because I find myself living in his shadow and following his dreams rather than mine. It’s a catch 22.

Not to mention my husband has a strenuous job and crazy work schedule. At the moment he is a Drill Instructor, so what that means for me is that I have to play the role of mommy and daddy 80 percent of the time. I basically play the role of a single mom with a husband, if that makes any sense at all. He is always gone and sometimes is away for days at a time. Luckily this is only a three year duty so once it’s done he will go back to a regular schedule, but for now it’s all work and no play. It definitely puts all the pressure on me to balance the household and everything in it. It can be hard at times but my motto is "what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger." Luckily it’s not forever.

Is this what I thought it would be like and is it my ideal situation?

This is not what I thought it would be like at all, considering the fact that I live 3000 miles away from my friends and family. However, for the moment it works for me. This is where God and fate led me and I strongly feel that my future was destined to be where I am at. I’m with the love of my life and have a beautiful healthy boy so I can’t complain.

My ideal situation would probably be to have another baby. I think about having another baby at times especially now more than ever because my three year old is getting so big. What do they call it, “baby fever” but with baby comes a ton more responsibility, which I know I can handle. However, at this point in time it probably wouldn’t be the smartest move for me. I am finally getting to a place in my career that can bring great success and having another baby might delay things for me, which scares me. It’s a catch 22 for women that want to achieve success in the workforce but still maintain a family. I guess my situation is a bit more complex because my husband’s career can sometimes battle mine without meaning to. Moving every so often because of the military is really challenging when you’re trying to make a name for yourself as a working woman. Being a mom and wanting to have a successful career is difficult to begin with but I never thought I would be going up against my husband’s career and his success too. I wasn’t oblivious to the military life and I knew what I was getting myself into when I married him, I just didn’t think it would be this hard. However, he is the man of my dreams and just like having my son, putting myself on hold is what I would do for the two loves of my life. I just hope I don’t have any regrets in the future.

Tips on how you make your situation work for you?

I honestly don’t know. I feel like I am super mom. My situation is tougher than most because I live across the country from my family and close friends. So having the ability to say “Mom I’m dropping off your grandson” is not an option. One thing I will say that works for me is communication, communication, communication with the husband. Since it’s just us two and I do majority of the work when he is not around, I make sure that he knows everything that goes on at home and work. So whether it’s texting or leaving voicemails, my husband is always in the loop. And because I work from home half the time it’s not too bad for me. Daycare is always a big help! Not to mention a glass of wine at night while the little one is sleeping, keeps me sane!

How do you handle mommy guilt?

When I first put my son in daycare, I was so devastated. He is my baby and I didn’t want anyone taking care of him but me. But I couldn’t stay at home forever and money doesn’t grow on trees. Although staying at home started to drive me a little stir crazy and I found myself longing to get back in the real world having adult conversations. Luckily after a couple of weeks the mommy guilt slowly faded. Besides, he loves daycare and just to see him smile as he says goodbye to me when I drop him off makes me realize I made the right decision.

Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work or if staying home is the right choice?

It will get better! It’s always difficult in the beginning because you are not sure if going back to work makes you a bad mom, but trust me it doesn’t. I feel that it’s good for us to get back to work, because it balances life out. Don’t get me wrong I know plenty of stay at home moms that love to be at home with their kids all day, and hey I commend them. But if you don’t have the luxury to stay at home because you need the dual income or if you just want to work because it’s what you love to do. Just know it does get better and only makes us working mommies that much stronger.

What will the next 5-10 years bring?

Hopefully, the next five years is going to be about me and my success. I have followed my husband long enough and now it’s my time to shine and luckily he is more than happy to join me in the ride to our success as a family. Fingers crossed that all this education I have, will be my ticket into all my dreams that I left behind the moment I said yes! And hopefully somewhere along the lines baby number two comes along. There is no telling what the future will have in store for me. Hopefully the possibilities are endless, and if you want to read along in my journey you’re more than welcome too. It’s an interesting story to say the least.

{Thanks, Priscilla! To find the rest of the MMIW series click here}